Can I Take Dad's Car Keys From Him? How?

A Tale of Two Cities by Gary Barg caregiver.com

Yesterday marked our fourth annual Miami Fearless Caregiver Conference (and 93rd event to date). It was a sunny, beautiful day with a packed house of family caregivers. As I told the assemblage at the beginning of the day, to celebrate, we arranged for the television show “Burn Notice” to shoot in the parking lot. (It was just a coincidence, but hey, I would have arranged such a thing if I could have.) Earlier this month, we hosted the second annual Nashville Fearless Caregiver Conference (keeping with the celebrity theme, we were honored to be joined by MS advocate, multi-platinum recording artist, and really nice guy Clay Walker). Represented on the Question and Answer panels at both events were experts including: physicians, pharmacists, Social Security, hospice and our partners at the local Alliance for Aging and Area Agency on Aging organizations.

One other coincidence during these events is that the most astonishing questions came from two young people with the same comment, “Well, I know that my parent should stop driving, but...” Their stories were equally jaw-dropping. From the young man in Nashville whose mother is living with mid-stage Alzheimer’s disease to the young lady in Miami whose dad can’t hold a jar, let alone drive, due to the effects of Parkinson’s disease, their remarks were show-stoppers at both events.

I was overwhelmed by the wide range of observations, concerns and suggestions from their fellow caregivers—from hide the keys to immediately calling the Department of Transportation. But the Legal Aid attorney who joined us in Nashville distilled the take-home lesson in only a few words when the young man asked if he or his family could be at risk if his mom hurt anyone by remaining behind the wheel. She said, “I know a dozen attorneys who would be chomping at the bit to take the case against you!” Case closed.

Today: I Will Attend My 5th Annual Fearless Caregiver Conference

Here is an excerpt from my May 24, 2007 blog post:

Fearless caregiver conferences, hosted across the country, bring together caregivers and elder care experts, to share their knowledge and experience. These conferences, generally free to the public, are offered by several dozen sponsors and exhibitors who wish to provide information on the plethora of products and services available to assist caregivers in making the best decisions in giving the best care for their aging loved ones.

The format for these helpful conferences consist of an exhibit area, where more than 35 exhibitors provide caregiver information on some of the following: long-term care insurance, Alzheimer's disease, hearing a technology, personal emergency response systems (PERS) monitoring services, assisted living facilities, nursing home facilities, home health care services, reading and vision products, breast cancer research, hygiene products, blindness prevention, hospice services, geriatric care management services, transportation, helpful literature and many more. In addition, a panel of experts delivered presentations on specific areas of long-term caregiving and they shared their wisdom in a lively question and answer session designed to solicit rich discussion helpful to all attendees. The AARP even provided comprehensive training manuals for caregivers in both English and Spanish.

Gary Barg, a noted speaker, writer and publisher on caregiving issues created the Fearless Caregiver Conferences. He is an inspiration to me providing a forum where elder care experts and experienced caregivers can share their knowledge with others. He draws upon his experience as a caregiver since 1995.

Twenty Ways To Care for Caregivers

Twenty of the best tips and ideas collected from Caregivers and care managers of the Medicare Alzheimer's Project in Broward and Dade Counties, Florida. by Gary Barg of Caregiver.com


Laugh about something everyday

Take care of yourself physically.

Eat a well-balanced diet.

Talk with someone every day.

Let family and friends help. Give them printed material on memory disorders so they can better understand your relative. Give them a chance.

Give yourself permission to have a good cry. Tears aren't a weakness, they reduce tension.

Exercise. A brisk walk counts.

Get adequate rest.

Try a bowl of Cheerios and milk before bed to promote sleep.

Avoid noisy and/or tension-filled movies at night. The late news itself can add to stress. Skip it.

Reduce daily caffeine intake.

Get professional help if you feel your support system isn't adequate or if you feel overwhelmed.

Take a break very day, even if it's only 10 minutes alone in the backyard.

Explore community resources and connect yourself with them.

Listen to music.

Learn relaxation techniques.

Regularly attend one or more support groups and education workshops.

Give yourself a treat at least once a month: an ice cream cone....a new shirt or dress....a night out with friends....a flowering plant.

Read your Caregiver's Bill of Rights (and Today's Caregiver magazine)

Know your limitations.

2009 Taxes for Dad

It is 2009 income tax time and I just discovered I must file on Dad’s behalf and attach court certification that I am executor of his estate. Since I did them the past three years using Turbo Tax, I hope the software knows how to guide me since Dad passed last year.

Top Ten Things For Caregivers To Start Doing Now

Here is a great list of action steps that can help you serve as an effective elder caregiver. This is posted on Gary Barg's Caregiver site. He is a fierce advocate for elder caregivers.
1.

Keep records of all medications and reactions: make notes about what works, what doesn’t and when you informed the physician of any problems.

2.

Keep records of all doctor appointments: the reason for the visit, the doctor’s responses to our concerns, any procedures performed, etc.

3.

Start or continue to maintain copies of medical records for your loved one, and for yourself, as well. These will be beneficial should a grievance arise or if there are questions about medical histories.

4.

Plan for the unexpected: discuss plans and wishes of everyone involved in the caregiving family. Talk about final resting places and what arrangements your family will want.

5.

Have an Advance Directive filled out and given to the primary physician and all relatives who may need the form.

6.

Have a Last Will and Testament completed or updated: without a signed Will, the courts will decide how to distribute the possessions of your loved ones.

7.

Keep a record of where all-important documents are kept. When an emergency or tragedy occurs, locating information should not be where we spend our thoughts and energies.

8.

Record all monetary involvements: investments, resources creditors, debtors, business transactions, etc.

9.

Have an insurance analysis done: is your home, life and health insurance still appropriate for your family’s needs? What about the insurance policies for your loved ones? Do you all have enough coverage to take care of any eventuality? Do you have provisions for long-term care? For respite care? Is your house adequately covered given the state of the weather patterns?

10.

Clean out the medicine chest. Look for expiration dates on all medicine, and check with your doctor about previous medications which will either be harmful with current prescriptions or which are no longer effective for you or your loved one. Not only will you save space, you might also save a life.

Caregivers and the Internet

Here is a helpful article posted in CareGiver Magazine by By Helen Hunter, ACSW, CMSW

There is almost no industry that hasn’t benefited from the accessibility, speed and convenience of the Internet, from entertainment to education, so why not health-care? It is estimated that 40% of Internet users seeking health information went on-line because they had a loved-one diagnosed with a serious medical condition, according to Gomez Advisors, a leading research source for e-businesses. Currently, there is an estimated 110 million Americans using the Internet and 70 million of them are in search of health information. There are numerous, informative health sites on the Internet in existence and more keep popping up daily

Caregiver/Lifeline MedCom’s Worldwide Medical Retrieval System provides a personal medical data storage unit, on-line for caregivers and their loved-ones. The service can be accessed through our web site at www.caregiver.com. The information entered on the site is “member supplied” so caregivers may want to check with their loved-one’s doctor for medical data accuracy. The medical records are then stored in a secure central database that is protected by a special identification coding system that fully encrypts and protects data from invasion After caregivers register their care-recipient’s health information with the site, a membership card arrives in the mail with their user ID numbers and password. It’s recommended that this card be carried with the caregiver or loved-one at all times. Once the registration procedure is completed, the loved-one’s medical records can be accessed within minutes from anywhere in the world through the web site or the companies toll free number. The phone number immediately goes to a fax-on-demand system that allows the medical records to be sent to a designated fax machine. According to Mark McCoy, President and CEO of Lifeline MedCom, “The emergency data retrieval system gives the caregiver and their loved-one the security of having their historical medical records easily passed and accessed in case of an emergency.” This site is also beneficial for new doctor or specialist visits, children’s daycare, school or sporting medical information requirements and travel.

There are a few things a caregiver should be weary of when using the Internet for health-care advice and information:

*

Never self-diagnose or self-treat you or your loved-one, always seek the opinion of a professional
*

Don’t believe every health web site is credible- be on guard for quackery.
*

If a site offers a cure for an incurable disease, it’s probably not true.
*

Be aware of privacy policies so that your information isn’t being shared with the rest of the world.
*

Keep a look out for advertisements in disguise as health-care sites; their information may not be objective.


These tips are not to frighten the caregiver away from using the Internet as a valuable information tool but merely warn them of the potential for faulty data and marketing plows. There are many substantial web sites like the one represented in this article that provide unbeatable quality and care for caregivers and their loved-ones. Remember that assistance and resources are just a few simple mouse clicks away!

When The Caregiving is Over-A Great Article!

When Caregiving is Over: The Well-Being of Caregivers
of Parents with Dementia
By Marla Berg-Weger, Ph.D., LCSW, Doris McGartland Rubio, Ph.D.
Susan Tebb, Ph.D., LSW and Lisa A. Parnell, MSW


Gaining insights into the former caregiver’s well-being can provide valuable information for working with caregivers before and during their caregiving experiences. Broadening the scope of the caregiving continuum to include the pre- and post-caregiving phases re-defines caregiving as a multi-faceted and complex phenomena.

Former caregivers find that the period following the death of their family member can be at one in which they reflect on and process the caregiving experience. The grief experience of caregivers of elders suffering from a dementing illness is a unique one, in many ways. Due to the loss of the elderly family member’s cognitive and physical function over a period of time, caregivers report that they often begin the grieving process before the actual death. For this group of caregivers, a sense of relief may occur when the care-recipient dies.

In a recent study of daughters who had cared for an elderly parent who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease or a related disorder, but had since died, researchers report two critical findings that can benefit professionals working with family caregivers:

1) Well-being and ability to meet one’s basic needs are both higher for former caregivers than for non-caregivers. These findings suggest that, while caregiving can be stressful, the negative effects are not sustained into the post-caregiving phase. The authors speculate that post-caregivers may develop effective management skills during their caregiving experience that are carried over into the post-caregiving phase. Professionals and caregivers alike know that caring for a family member suffering from a dementing illness such as Alzheimer’s disease, while stressful, can equip them with skills to better meet their basic needs.

Learning that former caregivers possess a higher level of well-being than those who have not provided care can guide the professional in working with caregivers who are in the pre-caregiving and active caregiving phases. This finding builds on the concept that self-care and attaining a balance in one’s life is critical at all times, but particularly important for the person who is anticipating and/or engaged in caring for a relative with dementia. Working with caregivers and pre-caregivers to mobilize and utilize resources and support systems and develop a management approach to caregiving may additionally contribute to their enhanced post-caregiving well-being.

2) Post-caregivers’ income levels are higher than the comparison group. This finding suggests several potential explanations. First, former caregivers’ income may have improved following the death of the loved one as a result of decreased expenditures related to caregiving, thus relieving the financial drain often associated with caring for a chronically ill person. Secondly, because caregivers tend to be older than non-caregivers, they may have accumulated a higher level of income and/or financial resources. Lastly, this finding suggests that the caregiver sought out paid employment, having been relieved of the role of caregiver.

Professionals working in the area of caregiving and caregivers themselves can use such a research finding to engage pre-, active and post-caregivers in discussions about financial management. Such dialogue may include the development of a budget, financial planning, employment status and/or seeking financial support for outside sources.

In applying the lessons learned from this research effort, the following strategies may be helpful for professionals and caregivers striving to promote well-being among caregivers at all stages of caregiving from a strengths-based perspective:

1) Assessment—Conduct regular and ongoing assessments of caregiver well-being. The Caregiver Well-Being Scale is a tool that can be used with individual caregivers and multiple members of a caregiving team at various points along the caregiving continuum. The scale can highlight the pre- and current caregiver’s strengths and resources, while, at the same time, aid the professional and the caregiver in developing strategies for change. Using the scale on a routine basis can help the caregiver(s) realize improvements and areas for continued work. For the former caregiver, the scale can be a working assessment of his/her navigation through the post-caregiving and bereavement period.

2) Intervention—Strengths-based interventions aimed at enhancing the caregiver’s well-being can flow from the ongoing assessment. Professionals and caregivers can determine the most viable ways in which to operationalize the intervention(s). Priorities may be altered with changes in the care-recipient and/or caregiver status and external environment; therefore, practitioners should re-visit the assessment and intervention process on a regular basis. Examples include activities related to:

Establishing realistic goals and expectations related to caregiving
Developing and creating assets and resources of the caregiver, care-recipient and support system
Confronting challenges to well-being (obstacles and weaknesses)
Identifying formal and informal needs and ways to access help
Prioritizing self-care goals and strategies for achieving those goals
Feelings about being a caregiving, to include positive and negative

Time management in caregiving and, in general

Ways caregiver spend his/her leisure time
The future—life beyond caregiving (social, emotional and financial)
3) Evaluation—Evaluative strategies should be woven through the caregiver intervention process to assist the professional and the caregiver in determining progress toward achievement of goals. The professional may further find that evaluating caregiver interventions can aid in identifying program needs and innovations. Using the wisdom and experience of the current and former caregiver can strengthen the services provided for the caregiving community.


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Marla Berg-Weger, Ph.D., LCSW is Associate Professor, Saint Louis University School of Social Service. Doris McGartland Rubio, Ph.D. is Associate Professor

Saint Louis University Department of Research Methodology. Susan S. Tebb, Ph.D., LSW is Associate Professor, Dean Saint Louis University School of Social Service and Lisa A. Parnell, MSW is Graduate Research Assistant Saint Louis University School of Social Service.

1 This research was funded by the Alzheimer’s Disease and Related Disorders Program, University of Missouri, Columbia, Missouri. 2 This article is an excerpt from the original article entitled, “Comparing the well-being of post-caregivers and non-caregivers,” American Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Dementias, 16(2), 97-101. 3Corresponding Author: Saint Louis University School of Social Service, 3550 Lindell Boulevard, St. Louis, MO 63103; 314/977-2726 (Telephone); 314/977-2581(Fax); bergwm@slu.edu (e-mail).