Photo Organizing-Help, I need a system!!

Dear Abbey,

Today in Chicago, in my childhood home, I must tackle (inherited) 10+ file size boxes of family photos. Some are in albums, some in frames, and some are lose. It’s just me left in the family-(no siblings or future generations). At least ½ of the photos are of my parents over the past 20 years (or so).

Do you have any ideas on how to approach this task?
I will not scan them all nor do I want to pay $1000s to store them. I am leaving here for good (after the house is sold) and need to say all my goodbyes—even to these important family mementos.

BTW, I must have more than 20 boxes of neatly organized, scrapbooked photos of my own in Miami.

Sincerely, Overwhelmed from Miami

REPLY

Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2010 7:35 PM
To: Karla Scott
Subject: Re: Photo Organizing-I need a system

As you know Karla, I need help organizing myself but my gut feeling is that since you already have 20 boxes of neatly organized scrapbooks of your own, you might have photos of your parents and family already.
Can you just reduce those twenty boxes to maybe one scrapbook for yourself of the most important photos and get rid of the rest. After all, if you are the only one left, who is going to want to see those photos besides you?
It might feel painful at first but what choices do you have?

Hope this helps.

As ever,
Betty (Abbey)

New Cell Phone For Seniors

To the youth: ask your grandparents how this works!!

Advice for a caregiver from "an expert"

Here is a great letter and response from Gary Barg, of caregiver.com

A Caregiver's Friends and Family Plan

My column in last week’s newsletter about my friend who moved home to help take care of his father brought a flood of responses. In my friend’s case, his previously healthy mother died suddenly while taking care of his father (not an unusual occurrence for the primary caregiver in any family). I know how difficult it can be to take a break from the stress of caregiving, even when we know it is the best thing we possibly can do for ourselves and the loved one for whom we care. The obvious answer is getting our friends and family to help us more, but that is trickier than it seems.

Florence’s email is a case in point.

Hi Gary,

I am drowning in stress due to caring for my mother who has cancer. I am single and an only child, so I feel that I have no one to talk to about what I am going through.

I am a healthcare professional (nurse) as well, which makes it worse sometimes because I know all too well what she is doing wrong when she is noncompliant.
It seems lately that all I do is work and take care of her. I do not have anyone to go do something fun with from time to time, which makes it really hard.

I just feel trapped and alone in this situation. I love my mother very much, but I just need relief from all of this constant responsibility and care for her. She does not have the money for me to bring in a hired person, nor does she really need it as of yet. She is so finicky that no one but me can do things right for her. What I would not give for a sister at this time.

OK, I'm through venting :-). I feel better having put all this onto you (ha!). I'm actually going to sit down and watch a TV program all the way through tonight!!

Thanks for listening,
Florence

Florence,

Your mom is quite lucky to have a daughter like you. Actually, I think the first best step is reaching out and just putting your feelings on paper (or a computer screen). I don’t know where you live or if your mom has any friends or you have any other relatives who could step in and lend a hand. Many times the challenge is that people don’t know how to help until we give them specific duties. Please see link below.

The other thing I would recommend is a support group (I know what you might be thinking), but support groups become our families of choice and great friends are made from the time spent together. I think it would be a great idea to see if your mom may have any activities that she really enjoys, in which she can spend some time so you can also get some time off. As a care professional, you know that the awful truth is that if you cannot find a way to create an informal support team or make some space for you to have some relief, your mom's best support is at risk—you.

Besides, you certainly do deserve it.

http://www.caregiver.com//articles/general/reverse_gift_list.htm


How do you get your friends and family to help you?




Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com

Warning Signs of a Possible Need for Help

Here is a great article and list of warning signs your elder needs help. (See source below)

The real challenge facing elders and their loved ones, is the ability to differentiate normal aging, from the warning signs that something may be wrong, requiring some form of intervention. It is important to note that we all have a bad day - our hair in uncombed, we forget an appointment, or we feel depressed; however a recurrent pattern may indicate a problem.

We are providing a list of some questions that may help you evaluate if there is a potential problem, but this list is only meant to serve as a guide. If a problem is suspected, the elder needs to be seen by a professional who can conduct a complete medical evaluation and a geriatric assessment, and help determine the best way to proceed.

1. Is the person experiencing any significant vision, hearing, or memory loss?

2. Is the person experiencing any anxiety, depression, or phobias?

3. Is the person oriented to time, place, and person?

4. Is the person able to read, write, and use the telephone without difficulty?

5. Is the person able to use public transportation, or arrange to take a cab?

6. Is the person able to perform routine housekeeping tasks (e.g. laundry, cooking, cleaning)

7. Is the person able to handle maintenance needs?

8. Is the person able to prepare meals and eat regularly?

9. Is the person able to bath independently?

10. Is the person able to dress appropriately?

11. Is the person able to manage their own finances?

12. Is the person able to handle their own banking and financial needs?

13. Is the person able to write checks & balance their checkbook?

14. Is the person able to exercise good judgment, and make sound decisions?

15. Is the person able to manage their own medications?

16. Is the person able to go shopping for groceries?

17. Is the person able to maintain relationships with family and friends?

18. Is the person able to walk, climb stairs, and remain standing?

19. Is the person able to easily and safely get up and down from a chair?

20. Is the person able to fall asleep and stay asleep?

21. Is the person able to remember family names, and appointments?

22. Is the person able to safely see & operate appliances?

23. Is the person able to drive?

24. Is the person able to hear the phone ring, and understand a conversation?

25. Is the person able to participate in leisure activities?

26. Is the person expressing any issues or concerns?

27. Is the person experiencing a sudden weight loss or gain?

28. Is the person experiencing any health concerns?

29. Is the person experiencing any bruises or cuts?

30. Is there any evidence that the person is the victim of fraud or abuse?

from caregiverresourcecenter.com

Removal of Family Photos Is The Hardest

The hardest part of decluttering my childhood home in preparation for listing it for sale is the removal of all the family photos. Each time someone took down a photo I felt as though I was dying or that I was being killed.

Although the house is nice and neat and cluttered now, I feel it has no soul.

There’s no evidence that the Scott family ever existed. It’s a very dark feeling.

Using a dumpster for clearing the clutter is not always a good idea

As I evaluate it options for decluttering my childhood home, I considered renting a dumpster that would sit outside in front of the house. Many of those whom I consulted cautioned me on the downside of selecting this option now. What they explained is that typically when someone rents a dumpster, anyone who lives within an 8 mile radius we’ll add their junk to the bin. I never even considered that reality.

What we have decided to do is to temporarily convert the garage into a storage area for all the junk. Once the house is free of all that junk that is in the garage, and then I will hire a dumpster company to bring a dumpster into the alley right next to the garage.

Hiring a dumpster is very expensive; I want to make sure that I get the full use of this service.

Selling My Childhood House is Hard

I knew that selling my childhood home would be hard work but doing this from long distance is especially challenging.

I am reading books on clearing out parents’ estates, de-cluttering, and how to keep my asthma at bay while dealing with all the dust and molds, there.

I am engaging the help of:

A Chicago realtor who works in that part of town
Estate attorney there(who is slow and unresponsive)
My lawyer here
A professional organizer who is one of my childhood best friends
Someone to clean the house, especially my room that is full of allergens
A contractor/mover/handyman/strong guy
Insurance company
Friends of Mom (challenging because the few left are over 90) and charities to come take certain items

I will go to Chicago next week, for a week, with the goal of preparing the house for staging---To list it for sale!

I have been reading Boomer Burden by Julie Hall—The subtitle is Dealing With Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff. I find it extremely informative, chock full of helpful tips.

I will talk more about my journey and this book in my next post.

Tips for checking on your Mom or Grandmom during your Mother’s Day Visit

Gary Barg, founder of Caregiver.com, offers great advice for your visit to Mom:

To Grandmother’s (and Mom’s) house we go this weekend all across the country to visit our dear moms and grandmas. If you are a long-distance caregiver, this trip offers an opportunity to spend time with loved ones and take stock of how well they are doing on their own.

Some of the things you may want to check on while in the house:
• Is there a good variety of food in the refrigerator?
• That are the expiration dates on the perishables?
• Are the medications being utilized and up to date?
• Is there an emergency medical kit in easy reach of the occupants?
• Are there any safety hazards in the bathroom (are rails needed, are mats slippery?)
• Are bills being paid or are they piled up unpaid in a corner?
• If they have a pet, is there plenty of fresh water and food available? (You may want to contact Meals on Wheels and inquire about the “We All Love Our Pets" program or WALOP; www.mowaa.org)

Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com

Knowing the Warning Signs of a Stroke Could be the Best Prevention

We can NEVER hear this reminder too often!!

Here is an article from caregiver.org, reminding us of stroke warning signs.:

Stroke is our nations #3 killer and our best defense is to recognize the warning signs. It is possible to decrease your chances of having a stroke through education and a healthy lifestyle. Your brain needs blood, oxygen, and nutrients to function. A stroke occurs when a blood vessel that feeds the brain these vital elements becomes clogged or bursts. That part of the brain is damaged and will not work, along with the part of the body it controls. Transient ischemic attacks, or TIA’s occur before the onset of a major stroke. They are considered to be a ‘warning stroke’. TIA’s happen when a blood clot clogs an artery for a short time. The signs of a stroke and TIA are similar; the difference is TIA’s usually last only a few minutes.

What are the warning signs of stroke or TIA? You may have some or all of these symptoms:

Unable to feel one side of the face or body

Sudden weakness in an arm, hand, or leg

Confusion

Trouble speaking

Dizziness or loss of balance

Sudden onset of a terribly painful headache

Unable to see out of one eye or double vision

If we as caregivers recognize these warning signs and take action quickly, we could save the life of the person we are caring for or prevent a bad stroke.

A healthy lifestyle is important in possible stroke prevention, which means reducing the known factors. Uncontrolled high blood pressure, heart disease and smoking are major causes of stroke.

High blood pressure can be reduced by:

Loosing weight if it is necessary

Eating a healthy diet low in salt and fat

Becoming more active

Limiting alcohol intake to no more than 2 drinks per day

Taking medicine the way it is prescribed by your doctor

Heart and blood vessel problems develop when arteries that feed blood to the heart and brain slowly become clogged with a buildup of cells, fat and cholesterol. When the blood cannot get through, you could have a heart attack or stroke.

Heart disease may be prevented by:

Stopping smoking

Lowering your blood pressure

Eating a healthy diet

Being physically active

Getting regular medical checkups

Quitting smoking will dramatically reduce your risk of having a stroke. Although it is difficult, there are measures to help cope with the stress of not smoking. You can write down the reasons why you quit and look at the list often. You may also want to go places where there is no smoking allowed. For more information, contact the American Heart Association for tips on how to quit smoking.

A healthy diet and regular exercise program help reduce chances of an attack also. As caregivers, knowing the warning signs and encouraging a healthy lifestyle is the best armor in the battle to save our care recipients—and ourselves--from having a major stroke.

The New 'Female Problem'

Here is a helpful article about the realities of caregiving for the working woman By Patricia Grace

In the halls of the nation’s businesses, the hushed whispers which were once reserved for gossip and Monday morning quarterbacking now echo the despair stressed out women are feeling in their role as caregivers. While men do represent a growing percentage of today’s caregivers, the role is still largely filled by women. In what could be considered the new “female problem” in the workplace, male management does not have the tools to adequately discuss and remedy this female ailment.

Caregiver Stress Defined

An individual’s face may not readily give away clues that they are suffering from caregiver stress, but a quick look at their employee attendance record will reveal absenteeism due to their work as a caregiver for an aging loved one. The fact that this individual has a higher utilization of the healthcare benefits and increased prescription plan participation for stress-related disorders may also warrant their classification as a caregiver.

Stressed out caregivers are susceptible to a whole host of problems as their immune system becomes compromised under the weight and associated guilt of caregiving. Migraine headaches and GI disorders are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the impact caregiver stress has on individuals. Caregivers overwhelmed by stress are also highly susceptible to depression. Individuals need to learn to recognize when their caregiving duties are getting the best of them. Identifying community resources that offer services to caregivers and their loved ones can be just the prescription needed to bounce back.

Businesses and the overall economy are negatively impacted by caregivers who are emotionally drained by the burden of their role. The financial component of caregiver stress is far more reaching than that individual’s wallet. The trickle down effect of the disorder hurts all of our pockets as it robs employers of nearly $ 33.6 billion.

The Role of a Geriatric Care Manager

A GCM is a professional with expertise in geriatric or aging issues. They are a local resource with firsthand knowledge of the services available in your community. Boomers living at a great distance who are concerned if their parent is safe in their own home can avail themselves of geriatric care management services for peace of mind with ease. Often the task of navigating the maze of senior housing and financial options associated with eldercare can put a strain on the parent-child relationship. A GCM can bridge the gap and facilitate discussion that leads to decision-making.

Geriatric care managers can assess, facilitate and coordinate placement while providing family members the education they need to make informed decisions. This education not only gives individuals a better understanding of the process, but it enables them to overcome the guilt and stress they may be carrying. Professional geriatric care managers consult with the family members and take into consideration their psycho-social and clinical needs, financial concerns and geographical desires.

Focus on Funding

Gaining an understanding of the finances associated with eldercare can cause a caregiver’s stress to reach an all- time high level. Working with a geriatric care manager can put the funding solution you were looking for right at your fingertips. Aging specialists are experts on the VA Aid and Attendance bill as well as astute in Medicare and Medicaid issues. Certified geriatric care managers can dispel any funding myth you may have heard and give you an indication of your eligibility for assistance.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patricia Grace is founder and president of the geriatric care management company, Aging with Grace. She has over 15 years experience in the senior health field. She can be reached at www.agingwithgrace.net 1-800-626-9440

Can I Take Dad's Car Keys From Him? How?

A Tale of Two Cities by Gary Barg caregiver.com

Yesterday marked our fourth annual Miami Fearless Caregiver Conference (and 93rd event to date). It was a sunny, beautiful day with a packed house of family caregivers. As I told the assemblage at the beginning of the day, to celebrate, we arranged for the television show “Burn Notice” to shoot in the parking lot. (It was just a coincidence, but hey, I would have arranged such a thing if I could have.) Earlier this month, we hosted the second annual Nashville Fearless Caregiver Conference (keeping with the celebrity theme, we were honored to be joined by MS advocate, multi-platinum recording artist, and really nice guy Clay Walker). Represented on the Question and Answer panels at both events were experts including: physicians, pharmacists, Social Security, hospice and our partners at the local Alliance for Aging and Area Agency on Aging organizations.

One other coincidence during these events is that the most astonishing questions came from two young people with the same comment, “Well, I know that my parent should stop driving, but...” Their stories were equally jaw-dropping. From the young man in Nashville whose mother is living with mid-stage Alzheimer’s disease to the young lady in Miami whose dad can’t hold a jar, let alone drive, due to the effects of Parkinson’s disease, their remarks were show-stoppers at both events.

I was overwhelmed by the wide range of observations, concerns and suggestions from their fellow caregivers—from hide the keys to immediately calling the Department of Transportation. But the Legal Aid attorney who joined us in Nashville distilled the take-home lesson in only a few words when the young man asked if he or his family could be at risk if his mom hurt anyone by remaining behind the wheel. She said, “I know a dozen attorneys who would be chomping at the bit to take the case against you!” Case closed.

Today: I Will Attend My 5th Annual Fearless Caregiver Conference

Here is an excerpt from my May 24, 2007 blog post:

Fearless caregiver conferences, hosted across the country, bring together caregivers and elder care experts, to share their knowledge and experience. These conferences, generally free to the public, are offered by several dozen sponsors and exhibitors who wish to provide information on the plethora of products and services available to assist caregivers in making the best decisions in giving the best care for their aging loved ones.

The format for these helpful conferences consist of an exhibit area, where more than 35 exhibitors provide caregiver information on some of the following: long-term care insurance, Alzheimer's disease, hearing a technology, personal emergency response systems (PERS) monitoring services, assisted living facilities, nursing home facilities, home health care services, reading and vision products, breast cancer research, hygiene products, blindness prevention, hospice services, geriatric care management services, transportation, helpful literature and many more. In addition, a panel of experts delivered presentations on specific areas of long-term caregiving and they shared their wisdom in a lively question and answer session designed to solicit rich discussion helpful to all attendees. The AARP even provided comprehensive training manuals for caregivers in both English and Spanish.

Gary Barg, a noted speaker, writer and publisher on caregiving issues created the Fearless Caregiver Conferences. He is an inspiration to me providing a forum where elder care experts and experienced caregivers can share their knowledge with others. He draws upon his experience as a caregiver since 1995.

Twenty Ways To Care for Caregivers

Twenty of the best tips and ideas collected from Caregivers and care managers of the Medicare Alzheimer's Project in Broward and Dade Counties, Florida. by Gary Barg of Caregiver.com


Laugh about something everyday

Take care of yourself physically.

Eat a well-balanced diet.

Talk with someone every day.

Let family and friends help. Give them printed material on memory disorders so they can better understand your relative. Give them a chance.

Give yourself permission to have a good cry. Tears aren't a weakness, they reduce tension.

Exercise. A brisk walk counts.

Get adequate rest.

Try a bowl of Cheerios and milk before bed to promote sleep.

Avoid noisy and/or tension-filled movies at night. The late news itself can add to stress. Skip it.

Reduce daily caffeine intake.

Get professional help if you feel your support system isn't adequate or if you feel overwhelmed.

Take a break very day, even if it's only 10 minutes alone in the backyard.

Explore community resources and connect yourself with them.

Listen to music.

Learn relaxation techniques.

Regularly attend one or more support groups and education workshops.

Give yourself a treat at least once a month: an ice cream cone....a new shirt or dress....a night out with friends....a flowering plant.

Read your Caregiver's Bill of Rights (and Today's Caregiver magazine)

Know your limitations.

2009 Taxes for Dad

It is 2009 income tax time and I just discovered I must file on Dad’s behalf and attach court certification that I am executor of his estate. Since I did them the past three years using Turbo Tax, I hope the software knows how to guide me since Dad passed last year.

Top Ten Things For Caregivers To Start Doing Now

Here is a great list of action steps that can help you serve as an effective elder caregiver. This is posted on Gary Barg's Caregiver site. He is a fierce advocate for elder caregivers.
1.

Keep records of all medications and reactions: make notes about what works, what doesn’t and when you informed the physician of any problems.

2.

Keep records of all doctor appointments: the reason for the visit, the doctor’s responses to our concerns, any procedures performed, etc.

3.

Start or continue to maintain copies of medical records for your loved one, and for yourself, as well. These will be beneficial should a grievance arise or if there are questions about medical histories.

4.

Plan for the unexpected: discuss plans and wishes of everyone involved in the caregiving family. Talk about final resting places and what arrangements your family will want.

5.

Have an Advance Directive filled out and given to the primary physician and all relatives who may need the form.

6.

Have a Last Will and Testament completed or updated: without a signed Will, the courts will decide how to distribute the possessions of your loved ones.

7.

Keep a record of where all-important documents are kept. When an emergency or tragedy occurs, locating information should not be where we spend our thoughts and energies.

8.

Record all monetary involvements: investments, resources creditors, debtors, business transactions, etc.

9.

Have an insurance analysis done: is your home, life and health insurance still appropriate for your family’s needs? What about the insurance policies for your loved ones? Do you all have enough coverage to take care of any eventuality? Do you have provisions for long-term care? For respite care? Is your house adequately covered given the state of the weather patterns?

10.

Clean out the medicine chest. Look for expiration dates on all medicine, and check with your doctor about previous medications which will either be harmful with current prescriptions or which are no longer effective for you or your loved one. Not only will you save space, you might also save a life.

Getting Started--What You Need to Know About Caring for Elder Parents

The Washington State Department on Aging and Disabilities Services provides helpful information on how to get started—when you feel it’s time to step in and help your elder parent.

Here is the link and excerpts from an overview on their website:

http://www.aasa.dshs.wa.gov/pubinfo/help/

Are You Caring for a Loved One?

This section will help you understand the basics of finding and getting services for an adult who needs help with care. This would include such things as meals, transportation, daily personal care, house and yard work.
There are also state programs that help pay for food, shelter, medical or general expenses, or offer reduced rate healthcare coverage. Learn more.

Finding care can seem complicated and even overwhelming when you first start looking. The key is to find knowledgeable people who can help you. The information included here can help you sort through what you need to know and do to find these people.

When first beginning to look for care for an adult, you will need to figure out:
• what additional care is needed now or soon;
• who to call to find out what help is available in your area;
• whether you can get the care needed at home or will need residential care; and
• how to pay for it.

Did You Know ?

It’s never too late to make simple lifestyle changes and stay independent longer. Learn more.

What Additional Care is Needed

The first step is to understand what care or additional support is needed. It is a good idea if everyone involved (the adult who needs more care/support and his/her loved ones) can sit down and talk about the current situation. Learn more about having this conversation.

It is also helpful to have an understanding of the types of care that is available. These are often referred to as services. Services can help with things the person is having difficulty with including:

• physical care (e.g. getting dressed, preparing meals, assistance with medications, help with personal hygiene, getting in or out of the bed, tub, toilet or the house);
• taking care of the house or apartment (e.g. light housekeeping, shopping, laundry);
• transportation (e.g. to doctor’s appointments, shopping);
• staying socially active and connected to others in the community.

See the Care Needs Checklists to help guide you through these possible care needs. Learn more about the types of services that help an adult remain at home.

A professional care manager (e.g. nurse or social worker) can also help evaluate the current situation. If you would like professional help, ask for some referrals when finding out what help is available in your area.

Do you know someone preparing to leave a hospital, nursing home, or other health care setting? The CDC has developed a Planning for Your Discharge (PDF) checklist of important things patients and caregivers should know in order to plan for a safe discharge from a health care setting.
How to use this information

Make a list of the care needs required now and soon. This list will help you communicate the kind of care, services or programs you are looking for. Though helpful, having this list is not a requirement to call for help.

Sent 90% of My Elder Care Book to My Editor

I am thrilled I completed and sent 90% of my elder care book to my editor!-just before leaving for my 2-week, 6-country Mediterranean Cruise.

I look forward to reviewing her comments when I return.

BTW, I am at JFK, awaiting my flight to Barcelona-now.

Ten Tell-tale Signs That Your Aging Parents Need Help

I noticed gradual changes in my (fiercely independent) parents’ decline each time I returned home to Chicago. Eventually, I realized I needed to pay closer attention to the not-so-obvious warning signs.

My parents had begun to sleep till 4PM, were eating leftovers older than me, and they were driving dangerously. I took steps to bring in help twice a week (4 hours at a time) and to have food sent to them. Once they needed full time help, the familiar home health caregiver remained on as part of the round-the-clock team.

How do YOU know your aging parents need help?

Here is a helpful list by By: Clare Absher RN, BSN

“Our nurses have compiled the following list... Do any sound familiar?”
• Not paying household bills on time or at all; Bills and important documents are not put away in appropriate places and left lying around
• Not recognizing need for, arranging, or scheduling necessary household repairs and maintenance; Lawn not mowed, trash disposed of, and mail retrieved with any regularity
• Driving safely becoming an issue such as increase in violations, accidents, easily becomes lost in familiar areas, and signs of deteriorating vision
• Not preparing meals, eating at regular times, or missing them completely; Poor selection of food is often on hand or old outdated food left in refrigerator
• Declining personal hygiene as indicated by unkempt hair, dirty or lengthy nails, poor oral hygiene, body or urine odor, unshaven, and wearing same clothes over and over
• Lack of interest in keeping up with housekeeping chores like laundry or cleaning or simply complains that it is too difficult or tiring to continue doing them
• Losing track of medications, missed doses, mistakes like overdosing or interactions resulting in health concerns if not hospitalizations
• Reluctance to leave the house, run usual shopping errands, visit friends and family, sleeping long periods, and uninterested in usual hobbies or activities
• Getting up and down stairs and in and out of home becoming difficult; Walking unsteady on level ground, complaining of dizziness, and falls are likely or have already occurred
• Not making sound decisions that are likely to cause self harm or danger to others such as leaving the stove turned on or cigarettes burning and not recognizing an emergency or knowing the appropriate response

Can I Get Paid to Care for a Family Member?

Here is a helpful piece by Clare Absher RN, BSN at HomeCareFiles.org

The short answer is "Maybe". Some states provide programs that pay family members to care for loved ones at home however they are usually somewhat limited. These programs vary widely from state to state and even within the same state. Although most states offer some type of respite or temporary relief for family caregivers, they often won't pay them on a regular basis to provide care leaving big gaps in caregiver services.

Most long-term care in the US is provided by informal and unpaid family caregivers. Family caregivers are undoubtedly the backbone of our long-term care system and vital to meeting the needs of our aging population. As a result of our country's dependence on families to care for loved ones at home, the federal government enacted the Family Caregiver Support Program (FCSP) in 2000.

All states now provide some type of support in varying degrees under FCSP which focuses efforts on family caregiving relief. State units on aging with assistance of local area agencies on aging oversee and administer family caregiving services. Many local programs offer families counseling and support groups, training, and respite care to give family caregivers a break. Click on your state contact links below to learn more about specific help offered in your area for family caregivers.

Information about additional family support programs may also be available through contacting your local social services, senior services, or county health departments. In some states, Medicaid (government health insurance for low-income Americans) will pay family caregivers to provide care to family members at home. However, note that Medicare (government health insurance for older Americans) will not pay for long-term or ongoing home care regardless of whether such services are provided through an agency or a family member. Take some time to research programs in your area that might be applicable to your situation including any reimbursement for family caregivers. To get started click on your state contact links below to learn more about specific help offered in your area for family caregivers.

Search for State Contacts for family caregiver support services offered by each state at HomeCareFiles.org.

You might also consider trying the Family Care Navigator offered by the Family Caregiver Alliance for additional information on this topic.

We Dont All Get To Serve As Caregivers

My dearest friend was unable to serve as caregiver for her beloved Mom.

Her Mom was vibrant, energetic, serene, and full of plans for her future. At 75, just after returning from a birthday cruise with her husband, her body shut down and she fell brain dead. It was such an abrupt ending to a full and wonderful life.

She left a daughter who insists her Mom was her whole world! They were best friends, spoke every day, never quarreled, and visited every weekend.

My friend’s relationship with her Mom was cut short.

She was never given the opportunity to care for her declining Mom.

Fortunately, there was no unfinished business between them—no ill will, no regrets.

She was closer to her Mom than anyone I have ever seen.

I mourn for her loss.