Can I Take Dad's Car Keys From Him? How?

A Tale of Two Cities by Gary Barg caregiver.com

Yesterday marked our fourth annual Miami Fearless Caregiver Conference (and 93rd event to date). It was a sunny, beautiful day with a packed house of family caregivers. As I told the assemblage at the beginning of the day, to celebrate, we arranged for the television show “Burn Notice” to shoot in the parking lot. (It was just a coincidence, but hey, I would have arranged such a thing if I could have.) Earlier this month, we hosted the second annual Nashville Fearless Caregiver Conference (keeping with the celebrity theme, we were honored to be joined by MS advocate, multi-platinum recording artist, and really nice guy Clay Walker). Represented on the Question and Answer panels at both events were experts including: physicians, pharmacists, Social Security, hospice and our partners at the local Alliance for Aging and Area Agency on Aging organizations.

One other coincidence during these events is that the most astonishing questions came from two young people with the same comment, “Well, I know that my parent should stop driving, but...” Their stories were equally jaw-dropping. From the young man in Nashville whose mother is living with mid-stage Alzheimer’s disease to the young lady in Miami whose dad can’t hold a jar, let alone drive, due to the effects of Parkinson’s disease, their remarks were show-stoppers at both events.

I was overwhelmed by the wide range of observations, concerns and suggestions from their fellow caregivers—from hide the keys to immediately calling the Department of Transportation. But the Legal Aid attorney who joined us in Nashville distilled the take-home lesson in only a few words when the young man asked if he or his family could be at risk if his mom hurt anyone by remaining behind the wheel. She said, “I know a dozen attorneys who would be chomping at the bit to take the case against you!” Case closed.

Today: I Will Attend My 5th Annual Fearless Caregiver Conference

Here is an excerpt from my May 24, 2007 blog post:

Fearless caregiver conferences, hosted across the country, bring together caregivers and elder care experts, to share their knowledge and experience. These conferences, generally free to the public, are offered by several dozen sponsors and exhibitors who wish to provide information on the plethora of products and services available to assist caregivers in making the best decisions in giving the best care for their aging loved ones.

The format for these helpful conferences consist of an exhibit area, where more than 35 exhibitors provide caregiver information on some of the following: long-term care insurance, Alzheimer's disease, hearing a technology, personal emergency response systems (PERS) monitoring services, assisted living facilities, nursing home facilities, home health care services, reading and vision products, breast cancer research, hygiene products, blindness prevention, hospice services, geriatric care management services, transportation, helpful literature and many more. In addition, a panel of experts delivered presentations on specific areas of long-term caregiving and they shared their wisdom in a lively question and answer session designed to solicit rich discussion helpful to all attendees. The AARP even provided comprehensive training manuals for caregivers in both English and Spanish.

Gary Barg, a noted speaker, writer and publisher on caregiving issues created the Fearless Caregiver Conferences. He is an inspiration to me providing a forum where elder care experts and experienced caregivers can share their knowledge with others. He draws upon his experience as a caregiver since 1995.

Twenty Ways To Care for Caregivers

Twenty of the best tips and ideas collected from Caregivers and care managers of the Medicare Alzheimer's Project in Broward and Dade Counties, Florida. by Gary Barg of Caregiver.com


Laugh about something everyday

Take care of yourself physically.

Eat a well-balanced diet.

Talk with someone every day.

Let family and friends help. Give them printed material on memory disorders so they can better understand your relative. Give them a chance.

Give yourself permission to have a good cry. Tears aren't a weakness, they reduce tension.

Exercise. A brisk walk counts.

Get adequate rest.

Try a bowl of Cheerios and milk before bed to promote sleep.

Avoid noisy and/or tension-filled movies at night. The late news itself can add to stress. Skip it.

Reduce daily caffeine intake.

Get professional help if you feel your support system isn't adequate or if you feel overwhelmed.

Take a break very day, even if it's only 10 minutes alone in the backyard.

Explore community resources and connect yourself with them.

Listen to music.

Learn relaxation techniques.

Regularly attend one or more support groups and education workshops.

Give yourself a treat at least once a month: an ice cream cone....a new shirt or dress....a night out with friends....a flowering plant.

Read your Caregiver's Bill of Rights (and Today's Caregiver magazine)

Know your limitations.

2009 Taxes for Dad

It is 2009 income tax time and I just discovered I must file on Dad’s behalf and attach court certification that I am executor of his estate. Since I did them the past three years using Turbo Tax, I hope the software knows how to guide me since Dad passed last year.