A caregiver who has been with us almost 4 years has to care for her sick Mom. I was forced to replace her. I am in Chicago and will help train her replacement. The agency sent the new lady to slowly learn the job last Friday.
I have mixed emotions about bringing a new person into our home. I hope Dad adapts to her.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Replacing a Caregiver
A caregiver who has been with us almost 4 years has to care for her sick Mom. I was forced to replace her. I am in Chicago and will help train her replacement. The agency sent the new lady to slowly learn the job last Friday.
I have mixed emotions about bringing a new person into our home. I hope Dad adapts to her.
I have mixed emotions about bringing a new person into our home. I hope Dad adapts to her.
I decorated Dad’s bedroom for Christmas.
I decorated Dad’s bedroom for Christmas. It is very sad that Mom is not here.
In-Home Hospice Costs $8,000 Per Month
I just reviewed the hospice bill and I am amazed by the costs. I am grateful Dad has Medicare!
He has been in hospice since June 2007.
He has been in hospice since June 2007.
Cared for Dad alone on Thanksgiving
I took care of Dad alone from1:00 in the afternoon and overnight Thanksgiving.
I cared for Dad alone giving the afternoon and nighttime caregivers the day off. I am always a bit nervous when I care for Dad alone because I am not physically strong and because of the poop thing.
We survived together!
I cared for Dad alone giving the afternoon and nighttime caregivers the day off. I am always a bit nervous when I care for Dad alone because I am not physically strong and because of the poop thing.
We survived together!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Dad Has Become Mom
I continue to be amazed by how much my Dad has taken on my Mom’s characteristics. He has become critical, frugal, paranoid, and the latest: he has developed her voracious skin itching. He scratches incessantly out of habit just like Mom did. He opens wounds just as Mom did. There is no medical cause for his itching and none of the itching remedies stop him from scratching—JUST LIKE MOM!
He called me down at 5AM to scratch his back and asks caregivers to rub him throughout the day.
I feel so bad for him.
He called me down at 5AM to scratch his back and asks caregivers to rub him throughout the day.
I feel so bad for him.
Monday, November 24, 2008
National Day of Listening November 28
Here is a blog post about how to record memories of an older relative AND have fun in the process. I am glad I have Dad on videotape talking about the Tulsa Massacre.
We Support the "National Day of Listening" This Friday By Donna Kozik
This Thanksgiving, Story Corps asks you to start a new holiday tradition—set aside one hour on Friday, November 28, to record a conversation with someone important to you. You can interview anyone you choose: an older relative, a friend, a teacher, or a familiar face from the neighborhood.Here are some fast tips about how to conduct an interview with an older relative…
1. Do a little prep work. Even though you might think you know the stories by heart yourself, jot down some notes of which ones you’d like to record and a few questions that you want to make sure you remember to ask.
2. Get the basics at the beginning. Introduce your story by saying something like, “Today I’m talking with my grandfather, Joseph O, who is telling me about the time he, Uncle Eddie and Uncle Harry rode the motorbike they built from scratch onto the neighbor’s roof.”
3. Put everyone at ease. If your person seems put off by the tape recorder, have them hold it, which will put them more at ease. (It also may help them channel their inner performer and improve the sound quality.)
4. Put a button on it. When the story comes to its natural end, do a little wrap up, similar to your intro. Also remember to thank your storyteller.
5. Share the recording! The real joy comes from sharing the recording with others in your family. Don’t worry about doing any fancy editing before you send it out—the treasure is in the content and the voice of the loved one telling the story.
Most of all, make it fun. Most older people will be flattered and get a kick that one of the “young’ens” wants to conduct an interview and will enjoy their time in the spotlight. Let ‘em shine! And, of course, I encourage you to have the recording transcribed and be the start of a book you can publish on your family’s history—it will make a great gift the following year, or sooner!
We Support the "National Day of Listening" This Friday By Donna Kozik
This Thanksgiving, Story Corps asks you to start a new holiday tradition—set aside one hour on Friday, November 28, to record a conversation with someone important to you. You can interview anyone you choose: an older relative, a friend, a teacher, or a familiar face from the neighborhood.Here are some fast tips about how to conduct an interview with an older relative…
1. Do a little prep work. Even though you might think you know the stories by heart yourself, jot down some notes of which ones you’d like to record and a few questions that you want to make sure you remember to ask.
2. Get the basics at the beginning. Introduce your story by saying something like, “Today I’m talking with my grandfather, Joseph O, who is telling me about the time he, Uncle Eddie and Uncle Harry rode the motorbike they built from scratch onto the neighbor’s roof.”
3. Put everyone at ease. If your person seems put off by the tape recorder, have them hold it, which will put them more at ease. (It also may help them channel their inner performer and improve the sound quality.)
4. Put a button on it. When the story comes to its natural end, do a little wrap up, similar to your intro. Also remember to thank your storyteller.
5. Share the recording! The real joy comes from sharing the recording with others in your family. Don’t worry about doing any fancy editing before you send it out—the treasure is in the content and the voice of the loved one telling the story.
Most of all, make it fun. Most older people will be flattered and get a kick that one of the “young’ens” wants to conduct an interview and will enjoy their time in the spotlight. Let ‘em shine! And, of course, I encourage you to have the recording transcribed and be the start of a book you can publish on your family’s history—it will make a great gift the following year, or sooner!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Solo, Long-Distance, Caregiver of Elderly Parents
I cant believe I have been a solo, long-distance care giver of my parents for 3 years and 10 months!
Caregiver Family Sadness
Our daytime caregiver discovered her Mom has inoperable cancer and refuses any form of treatment. We will likely need to find temporary replacement help.
FEMA will provide September flooding disaster help
I found out FEMA will provide assistance to families whose homes were damaged during the floods in Chicago the weekend of September 13.
Here is our timeline of events.
Sept 13-15 basement flooded
FEMA declared Chicago area a disaster area and established a budget to assist families whose homes suffered flood damage.
November 3, 2008: I called and completed the lengthy application process over the phone.
ID# 410699636 Disaster#: 1800
The inspector made two visits. No one was there.
Inspector left me a message
I left three messages for him
11/13 Two calls from FEMA
11/14 they had dropped our case
Our case got reinstated on 11/14/08. In notes to inspector::They told him to Contact ME first.
11/18. Finally spoke with Jeff, the inspector who said he would go by the house on November 19. Vivian told me he was very thorough and very personable. He called me and I gave him all the home owner’s insurance info over the phone.
I hope FEMA will provide assistance.
Here is our timeline of events.
Sept 13-15 basement flooded
FEMA declared Chicago area a disaster area and established a budget to assist families whose homes suffered flood damage.
November 3, 2008: I called and completed the lengthy application process over the phone.
ID# 410699636 Disaster#: 1800
The inspector made two visits. No one was there.
Inspector left me a message
I left three messages for him
11/13 Two calls from FEMA
11/14 they had dropped our case
Our case got reinstated on 11/14/08. In notes to inspector::They told him to Contact ME first.
11/18. Finally spoke with Jeff, the inspector who said he would go by the house on November 19. Vivian told me he was very thorough and very personable. He called me and I gave him all the home owner’s insurance info over the phone.
I hope FEMA will provide assistance.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Funding for Respite Care in Illinois, Has Disappeared
I have spent several weeks attempting to clarify the new policies and procedures around respite care—additional help with caregiving-- in Chicago.
I have spoken with the Chicago Department of Senior Services, Illinois Department on Aging, and our local agency, the Healthcare Consortium.
Primarily, what I have encountered is that I get transferred to a black hole of voicemail. I have left countless messages with these agencies requesting help for Thanksgiving and Christmas, as I always have in the past. No one returns my calls!
Today, I finally spoke directly with a representative at the Chicago Department of Senior services. She informed me it that there is no more funding for respite care. Individual agencies might have available funds-- although; it is highly unlikely, because most agencies have experienced a backup since April.
It is disheartening to realize that we continue to be in a state of crises around elder care.
The majority of caregivers are women who work full time, and to have children still at home. The average household income of a caregiver hovers around $50,000 a year. Yet, there is very little help available to assist these caregivers in caring for their elderly loved ones.
It should be criminal!
As we continue to invest more than $10 billion a month to occupy a country that manages a multi-million-dollar surplus, we neglect American citizens.
As the baby boomer generation continues to age, we will soon see that more than 77 million US residents will need some form of elder care-- of course, an overwhelming majority have no long term care insurance and lack the funds for health care that cost anywhere from $15-$20 an hour. This translates to more than $45,000 a year for eight hours a day of help. For most families, this is not affordable. The average cost of nursing home care is $60,000 per year. For most families, this is not affordable.
I wonder how we as a society are going to take care of our elders when we can afford the cost of care (in both time and money).
As a single person with no kids, I will not be able to live long into retirement. I will not be able to afford home health care for myself. There is no one to take care of people like me. Euthanasia will be our only solution for many.
Very sad!
I have spoken with the Chicago Department of Senior Services, Illinois Department on Aging, and our local agency, the Healthcare Consortium.
Primarily, what I have encountered is that I get transferred to a black hole of voicemail. I have left countless messages with these agencies requesting help for Thanksgiving and Christmas, as I always have in the past. No one returns my calls!
Today, I finally spoke directly with a representative at the Chicago Department of Senior services. She informed me it that there is no more funding for respite care. Individual agencies might have available funds-- although; it is highly unlikely, because most agencies have experienced a backup since April.
It is disheartening to realize that we continue to be in a state of crises around elder care.
The majority of caregivers are women who work full time, and to have children still at home. The average household income of a caregiver hovers around $50,000 a year. Yet, there is very little help available to assist these caregivers in caring for their elderly loved ones.
It should be criminal!
As we continue to invest more than $10 billion a month to occupy a country that manages a multi-million-dollar surplus, we neglect American citizens.
As the baby boomer generation continues to age, we will soon see that more than 77 million US residents will need some form of elder care-- of course, an overwhelming majority have no long term care insurance and lack the funds for health care that cost anywhere from $15-$20 an hour. This translates to more than $45,000 a year for eight hours a day of help. For most families, this is not affordable. The average cost of nursing home care is $60,000 per year. For most families, this is not affordable.
I wonder how we as a society are going to take care of our elders when we can afford the cost of care (in both time and money).
As a single person with no kids, I will not be able to live long into retirement. I will not be able to afford home health care for myself. There is no one to take care of people like me. Euthanasia will be our only solution for many.
Very sad!
Monday, November 3, 2008
People (vultures) Amaze Me
People Amaze Me
Last week, while I was home in Chicago, members of my Mom’s family came by and asked to buy some of my Mom’s elegant wardrobe for a step in-law. When I responded, “ I will not make changes now because I am honoring my Dads wishes to leave things intact”, I got back “What is he going to do? Wear her clothes?” I explained, “he is my Dad, this is HIS house, and she was HIS wife. I will respect his wishes. Perhaps you would understand if you were in his shoes”. What I got back was “My wife died and you don’t see her things in my house”. I replied “well, people are different in how they approach life”.
Unbelievable that I was being bullied into changing how my Dad and I choose to deal with our lives and our grief.---All because of other peoples’ greed. There are millions of stores around the world-cant their friend find one that sells clothing in her size???????????????? How dare these people come into our home feeling entitled to our things!!!!!!
Last week, while I was home in Chicago, members of my Mom’s family came by and asked to buy some of my Mom’s elegant wardrobe for a step in-law. When I responded, “ I will not make changes now because I am honoring my Dads wishes to leave things intact”, I got back “What is he going to do? Wear her clothes?” I explained, “he is my Dad, this is HIS house, and she was HIS wife. I will respect his wishes. Perhaps you would understand if you were in his shoes”. What I got back was “My wife died and you don’t see her things in my house”. I replied “well, people are different in how they approach life”.
Unbelievable that I was being bullied into changing how my Dad and I choose to deal with our lives and our grief.---All because of other peoples’ greed. There are millions of stores around the world-cant their friend find one that sells clothing in her size???????????????? How dare these people come into our home feeling entitled to our things!!!!!!
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