We Finally Ordered a Hospital Bed

Monday, May 14 through Sunday, May 20, 2007

After having been awakened bright and early two mornings in a row with alarming phone calls from my parents’ home caregivers, I spent another week of identifying and implementing solutions in the best interest of my parents.

Devoting myself to being a long-distance caregiver comes with a price. My stressful reaction to some of the events led me to experience sharp back pain and sharp abdominal pain. I even felt compelled to review my medical insurance coverage-- just in case I may need treatment. My body is signaling that I must find coping mechanisms for all this stress. For the first time in two years, I decided to work out in the gym in my building. Exercise has been long overdue for me. Journalling, such as this, also proves therapeutic for me.

After gaining a broader picture of my Mom's deteriorating condition, I realized I had to take additional steps to protect her emotional and physical well-being.

On Sunday, she was so disoriented, that it alarmed my Dad to the point where he called one of the caregivers at home. When I spoke to my Mom, I realized the extent to which she has begun to deteriorate mentally within just the past week. She rambled on about her dog (the dog died 20 years ago), and she insisted she was in the home of an old friend of hers (who moved to LA 30 years ago). She marveled at how her friend’s furnishings and decorations were identical to those in her own home.

The following morning, I was awakened by one of the nighttime caregivers who had been called over at midnight to assist the other nighttime caregiver because my Mom had fallen and she could not get her up without help.

Apparently, my Mom insisted she had to let the dog out and attempted to climb out of bed on her own. That evening, she attempted to walk on her own several other times.

She also talked incessantly, nonsensically until 4 a.m.

Both nighttime caregivers stayed overnight.

I knew it was time to take action to further protect my Mom , who has apparently moved to the next stage in her illness. She has begun to wander.

My first step was to make arrangements to have a hospital bed with safety side bars ordered and delivered and installed. By the end of the week, my doctor had made the call and delivery men had replaced Mom’s twin bed with a hospital bed. This protective bed, with safety side bars, will prevent her from leaving her bed.

I was surprised to hear that during removal of the old bed, and installation of the new bed, my Dad slept through the entire process. He even snored. Naturally, my Mom resisted the notion of having a hospital bed. I assured her it is for her own protection. She fell while attempting to leave her bed, just a few days earlier.

I also made arrangements to extend the work hours of the home caregivers that work for a health care agency. I contacted the geriatric case manager from the state of Illinois Department of aging center. They sent out the case manager, and I spent several hours helping her update our file and answering questions about my Mom's deteriorating condition.

She approved an increase from 43 hours a week to 55 hours a week. I am thrilled!

The case manager also ordered a personal emergency response system (PERS) that will alert the authorities in case of emergency. My Dad will wear this device in the form of either a bracelet or a round-the-neck pendent. A push of the button will alert emergency medical services through the phone system. The first step is that a representative will call my Dad to engage in a conversation and to assess the situation. I must also give them two other local emergency contact numbers. I'm conflicted over which contact numbers to give since my Mom's closest friends are in their 90s. Perhaps I will ask two of my friends who live nearby. I must admit that I am concerned that my Dad may get “trigger-happy” with the PERS button. He has a tendency to overreact and to cause concern when it is unwarranted. I am not sure he can discern crises from non-crises.

The primary nighttime caregiver is convinced the antidepressant that I authorize last week had caused my Moms severe disorientation. She experimented with not giving her the antidepressant one night, and noticed a marked difference in Mom's state. She says she had returned to her old self, without the antidepressant. I authorized her to stop giving Mom the antidepressant. I also explained to her how sensitive are family is around depression. Just last week, my Mom was expressing suicidal thoughts. That was why I called the doctor and asked him to prescribe an antidepressant. I had never imagined the antidepressant would make her delusional and disoriented.

I am glad to know my Mom is not disoriented; that her recent condition may have been directly linked to a change in medication. Yet, I am also glad that it prompted me to take steps to provide additional safety by ordering the hospital bed and the extra hours of caregiver help, anyway.

I must also deal with next steps from my Mom’s failed root canal treatments. She is taking antibiotics to reduce the swelling from previous treatments (she had also had a severe allergic reaction to the painkillers from dental work) Her endodentist says she now needs oral surgery because they are unable to perform a root canal. I don't understand. So far, we have spent almost $600, and she still needs more work in the form of oral surgery. I must call the dentist next Tuesday to discuss next step options. (I am always skeptical about dentist recommendations). Surprisingly, this week, I also had a failed root canal. My dentist had to remove my bridge and I'm in a wait-and-see mode now.

It is all very complicated to manage medical, dental, and medication treatments.

I fielded many phone calls throughout the week from all five caregivers, Mom's doctor, Mom's dentist, Mom's endodentist, the homemaker agency, the elder care agency, the geriatric case manager, repair guys, Mom's friends, and pharmacists. I also paid bills online and sent my Dad a book of blank checks.

For a change, my Mom is not complaining about tooth pain, and she is not scratching until she bleeds.

Another week in the life of a long-distance caregiver! I am grateful I have identified solutions.

Now I am off to Charlotte, North Carolina to work with a team for the weekend. On Sunday, we will meet at 6 a.m. and I will return home at midnight.